Rusty Haggard Blog

Guys, It’s Our Time…Pedicure

Women have known about it for, well, a long time. Now it’s time for men to wake up to the 21st Century and all that it has to offer in the way of pampering: the pedicure. No, you say, as you reach for your col’ brew?

Put that thing down and step up to first class. It’s the most relaxing thing you can do. Take along your significant other if you feel intimidated. There’s really nothing to it. And don’t just get the basic. Go that extra step and get a little extra thrown in: scrubs, towel wraps, foot massage and more.

For one thing, go to a place that’s got the massage chair. With your own remote control unit, you can adjust any number of features for kneading, pulsing, hammering. Yeah, hammering. And the pedicurist will do a little of that too – on your calves. More about that later.

While you’re getting the chair to massage you, and while you’re watching the 55-inch flat screen TV (probably tuned to the 25 Greatest Moments in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Photoshoots or something similar), the pedicurist will ask you to lift one of your feet out of the swirling warm water. Then she’ll trim your nails and cuticles. Then that foot goes back in the whirlpool and she does the other foot.

Then the extras start: a cooling mud-like gel is applied to your calves, she massages that in nicely, wraps your calves with hot towels and places your feet into plastic baggies filled with an even hotter wax. Meanwhile you’re sipping bottled water and enjoying the Sports Illustrated TV show. Finally, she takes the towels off, removes the baggies and the wax, hammers on your calves, massages your feet, smiles beautifully and walks away.

Is this so bad?


One response

  1. My boyfriend needs to read this! I keep trying to get him to go but he’s afraid he’ll lose his manhood or some crap! 🙂

    June 3, 2011 at 6:26 pm

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